The Wedding -round two.

November 17, 2013 - London, United Kingdom

Wedding day!

(Well part 2/3)

Beggining with another run, broken by a swim in the venue pool and a run back to our lowlier abode. We were sad to note the absence of the dead dog, it was the deadman that was one step more than I could handle, apparently a traffic victim...
With an hour and a half to get ready and cross gridlocked addis, still a year overdue for a haircut I decide this is the time to undertake a 'Keen cut'. Polly did a good job considering the quality of the base material, the nail scissors and five minute time pressure.
Foolishly arriving just in time, we were the only people around. The bride and groom turned up two hours later, the groom having been artificially set up by his grooms and then proceeding to purchase his bride from her family with gold (absolute and subjective values vary). All filmed with a five man TV crew to make fancinating future viewing. The ceremony was highly scripted in a stunning venue, almost resembling some kind of beauty pageant. Stage order: the evenutal arrival, ringing ceremony, food (and feeding of each other -hopefully heavily edited), dancing, cake cutting, dancing and departure ceremony. A best mans speech was built in following the distressing discovery there would be no opportunity to tar the groom. The Ethiopians looked on in bemusement. My authentic metallic shoulder shrugging and head jerking was not forgotten from yesterday and I dragged into (and out of) most situations, noticably this correlated with a number of enquires about my husband -who is doing very well in the UK.

The wedding was highly enjoyable a lively and entertaining celebration. The absence of the best men was noted as their bridesmaid partners (chosen for height and looks) each waited in their respective white merc's. With a rumoured sexual expectation to perform it was unsurprising they were found hiding in the bar.

The party continued back at home, a sheep was sacrificed for the occasion. I have never witnessed a live butchering, important as a meat eater but given my recent onset of empathy for pain I handled it surprisingly well. The sheep was remarkably quiet and moved for a long time after its ability to control movement subsided... Just thought you'd want to know.


Meanwhile a dance off Brits vs Ethiopians was underway, with an indisputable victory for the Brits, The Worm simply out matching traditional Ethiopian chicken-style moves.

The locals were curious as to how we found it, worried about our comfort and enjoyment. Following an enquiry regarding my husband, two members of our party were described as 'like something from Hollywood' -obviously not something to share for fear of crainial explosion. This was followed by the 'Bread Naming ceremony' -yes we were just as confused. Essentially, a huge flat bread that followed us around all day was revealed. We were to break into it to try and find 100dollars (100 birr -5 dollars). Apparently we were due to suggest 'bread names' (nicknames) for the couple at this stage. But generally too unimaginative, lead to names being slowly generated enmass, still oblivious as to why 'psycho patti' and 'yin yang' were rejected, Noah and Vine were decided on (not a clue?!).

During the sheep butcher nothing went to waste, even encouraged to taste the bile (a mistake on an unimaginable scale), the wool coat being sold on and the undercooked testicles tried by the brave (stupid). The meat obviously was incredible and avoided like the plague by vegetarians and the most squeamish. The night finished with a trip back to town in blaring vehicles, embarrassingly getting lost down a dirt track, turning down the music and leaning hard on the reverse our certainly not sober drivers sheepishly flee the back lanes. Realising that we are getting to know the locals we revisit last night's club, meeting the same prostitute (and yesterday's pickpocket), who backed herself by funding her entry and then choosing the apparently her dance floor territory. She was not interested in making peace with last night's missed opportunity. Our Hollywood pair certainly didn't have to try as hard this evening with a swarm of interested girls aggressively fighting for stardom's attention.

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