Pray for a Heart of Appreciation, Love, and Trust

March 19, 2014 - Jinja, Uganda

March Madness is definitely here in Uganda…and these past four days are kind of the "calm before the storm."  Much of this last month for me is going to involve being a part of two mission teams that are coming to Uganda through True Impact Ministries.  The first team arrives here Thursday evening and stays for a week, and then the second team will arrive on April 2 and 3 and stay until I leave and come home!  Needless to say, there is much preparation to do for both teams coming, as well as much preparation for me to do…getting ready to leave unfortunately.

Nicole left Uganda last week on Thursday, leaving me exactly 1 week in between her leaving and the first team arriving.  I didn't realize just how perfect this timing was until Monday.  Seeing Nicole leave was difficult.  Not because she was leaving necessarily (I mean, I was sad to see her go), because I know that I will see her again right away in April when I get back.  Seeing her leave was especially difficult for me because it really knocked me upside the head as a reminder that this season is soon ending for me as well, and I don't have much time left.  And it was even harder for me because with Nicole leaving, it forced me to THINK about the fact that I am leaving next month, and I'm not ready and don't want to think about it yet…I want to start thinking about it and processing it on my own time.  So that was difficult for me.  But I also know that God placed those events for a reason and especially this week He is really speaking to me about the absolute perfection of His timing and how I'm to use each moment to recognize and trust in that.

I'm having a lot of time to just be still these few days even with the extreme checklist of things that I need to get done before the team arrives tomorrow evening.  God is really speaking to me to just take one day at a time.  I don't think it's a coincidence that my devotional yesterday morning involved this verse:

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own." --Matthew 6:34

"Oh Lord Almighty, Blessed is the man who trusts in you." --Psalm 84:12

I would say those words hit it right on the money for me.  I don't have a job waiting for me when I return to the US.  I literally have no plans.  I'm seeking for God to open a door, and I know that he will in his own timing, but being that my return is just around the corner it's very easy for me to get anxious about these issues.  But my goal is to not let it consume me or worry me, because I know that God has a greater plan--something far better than I can even imagine, and he will show it to me once I seek him first above all else and ask for guidance and direction within that.  Therefore, I will not worry.

These past few days God has really been reminding me to notice and re-appreciate the things in which I've come to normalize here:  kids singing praise songs during devotions each night, 50 hugs a day, birds singing in the morning over the pink and orange sunrise, crickets chirping, kids yelling "mzungu!" everywhere I go, the sun beating down on me as I walk the red sandy roads home from the school, the pleasant surprise I get from strangers when I start speaking in Lugandan, the extreme hospitality I feel with every threshold I cross, the hundreds of hands that try to occupy my two hands all at the same time while walking to the bus each morning, sleeping under my mosquito net, watching children playing their air guitars whenever I bring out my guitar to sing worship songs with them, the fresh Ugandan air that brushes my face everyday riding a boda-boda to the school to each lunch with the kids, the way Nagawa calls me "mommy"--while I believe it's normal and human to start getting used to these things, I pray that God gives me the diligence and heart to never let that happen with these things and hundreds of other God moments each day.  that is what I really want to focus on doing these last three weeks.  Open my eyes oh Lord.  He is shining in each and every moment of my days here and I don't want to be so consumed in the thought that I'm leaving that I fail to recognize the things that he is choosing to bless me of all people with in this present moment.  I don't deserve a single one of these things because I screw up just like if not more than everybody else, but the fact that he chooses to remind me of his love with these types of reminders is absolutely beautiful and wonderful, no matter how ugly and not-so-wonderful I may be.  And THAT is what I want my eyes to be opened to this final month.

I don't ask for prayers often for myself in my blog posts.  But I will tell you prayer warriors right now that I desperately need them as I prepare for this transition.  I remember my transition after coming home from being in South America for three months as one of the hardest times of my life.  One of the greatest challenges of going overseas is coming back and trying to communicate what you've seen to people who haven't seen it.  Trying to communicate what you've smelled to people who haven't smelled it and trying to communicate what you've felt to people who haven't felt it--through no fault of their own obviously, they just weren't there for that particular journey in this place in this time.  Above all, it's a challenge to communicate what God has done in your heart to people who have not walked that journey in that place at that time.  And not only that, but it's going to be an even bigger challenge knowing that a huge part of my life, my heart, and myself is going to be left behind.  Each day I spend here I honestly feel there is a further calling on my heart to continue working with (or in) Uganda for the rest of my life, and I have never felt so inspired, excited, and connected to something.  Please pray for whatever God may be putting on my heart to do next, as well as for this huge transition that lies ahead.

I pray that that wasn't just a bunch of word jumble to you all.  That just happens to be where my mind is at right now.  Thank you so much for all of your support and love and I will see you very soon!

In Him,

 

Nabaka Sarah


6 Comments

Renee Elbing Boelcke:
March 19, 2014
What a beautiful post! While His plan has yet to be revealed, surely you are an instrument of it. Your candor and presence of mind is inspiring. Thank you!
Melissa Hoffman Bodin:
March 19, 2014
Prayers, prayers, and more prayers Sarah! Stay present and soak up every single minute of the time that you have left there on this visit (I already know you will be back.) THANK YOU so much for your service. With love. See you soon!
March 19, 2014
Ah the tug of the Master, isn't it hard and isn't it beautiful at the same time. Thank God of the the beauty of the those moments when God works in and through the little things to achieve His kingdom purposes. Don't let Him go Sarah until He blesses you! Loveya, pc
Jeff:
March 19, 2014
We only praise God for what He has enabled you do here in Uganda with the children and the old people you have impacted spiritually, morally, education wise among other ways that you have reached out to them. You have served God not people. He has your REWARD.
Christi:
March 21, 2014
Ohhh W and I pray we have the opportunity to listen to you attempt to describe smells and feelings!!! Clearly you have carried our hearts and arms . . . painted butterflies touched them with fingertips!!! I have been knitting and praying in the space between us!!! I have something to give you . . . something I had planned to send with Missy . . . however after reading your blog . . . I just "knew" I needed to wait until you get home. #Godisinthespacebetweenus
Susan Johnson:
March 27, 2014
Prayers continue for you---transition is always a challenge, no matter what. God know what you have done, and what is in your heart--He will guide you in whatever decision you make about your future plans. Worry not, the spirit is always there! Look forward to seeing you when you get back home--it'll be great to hear some of your experiences first-hand. Shalom, Sue
Fuzzy Travel · Next »
Create blog · Login