Calling my Mother is Culture Shock

Against better judgment and my more normalised behaviour, I decided to give my mum a call the other day.  Well I did promise I'd give her a call again - a week after the first call.  That is very soon in my book.  (Mother's everywhere are both extremely angry and happy with that, I'm sure.  Happy because I called, but angry for the reason why.) [I'm probably walking along a very fine line here but bear with me.  But I'm learning eh!  I can now tell the "you should know why bit!"]

The first phone call went fine. (Well not really.  I didn't call out of the blue like I 'should have.)  I called to say that I was fine and dandy because  I got an email from my brother affectionately stating:

Re: Call Mom

"Mom says call home. Do it quick, its getting annoying howshe asks."

So I called home.  [Why isn't email good enough?]  I told my mom and dad that the violence in Joburg is nowhere near me, that I am washing behind my ears and eating my veggies.  [Why do mom's always want to know these two things??]  It was my father who actually picked up the phone and we had what I would describe as a "man" conversation:

Hello?
Hello?
Hey Dad, it's me.
Hello son, how are you?
I'm fine how are you?
I'm doing well thank you.  How are things is Johannesburg, how was your flight?
Nothing special, same old.
How is the situation?
It doesn't really affect me, it is happening in other neighbourhoods.
Good, be safe.  Your mother wants to speak to you.  (In that father voice, you know - that smug jovial tone.) [Total time 5 minutes] And I can't even remember what most of it was!  It was small talk, I avoid small talk when possible.  It irks me.  Phone calls, like most things we do should have a purpose.  To call and chit chat is painful.

Well that's how it went.  And so I just did my own thing for a week.

But, I felt bad for some reason.  [My mom is using her mom magic to guilt trip me from around the world!]  This time, I called and my mom picked up.

Hi mom!
(It was at this point did I realise what else do I talk to my mom about?  This has got to be some sort of dilemma!  Why can't I just talk to my mom?  I can talk about anything, but WHAT IN THE WOLRD DO I TALK TO MY MOM ABOUT?!!)

Hey Francis...
something something something

Then my phone cut out.  Phew.  That saved me heaps. [Total time 3 minutes]
If anyone has any ideas, on what to say / do please let me know.  Why is it that calling mothers is so difficult? 

So I asked some of the mothers here at work, and they all just laughed.  [Case in point, they didn't know what I could say either.  Then when I asked what they expected when their little boy grew up, they really didn't know either. Why is this so hard?]

But now that I've been here 2 weeks-ish I can honestly say that I'm not as shocked by culture as I am by my own living standards.  I'm living in a nice place in a nice neighbourhood.  I've been eating quite well and I have relatively low stress.  [The building contractors and adding to the stress but don't all home improvements happen this way?  Everyday I come home to find out how much they messed up my apartment.]

I've seen the electric wire fencing with security guards posted at every corner.  I've witnessed acute poverty.  I've marginally missed angry mobs.  I've been brushed by acts of unkindness.  I've seen violence unbecoming of humans.  All of this before I came to South Africa.  Here, there is an uneasy tension in the air.  But for the most part, keeping aware of your surroundings and playing it safe is the best bet.  Luckily for me, I cannot say that I've encountered anything that would test my comfort zone.  Nor do I really want that.  It is one thing to bear witness to horrible traumatic events.  It is another to live them.

Now if I could just find something to talk to my mom about.