I´ve just spent some time attempting to load pictures - but the connection here is incredibly slow and expensive, so I´ve abandoned the attempt! I´m sorry but from now on, the internet connections are also likely to be more difficult - but please be assured that I am travelling well. I plan to be in Santiago for the Mass on the 21st September - and if I haven´t been able to access internet before then, I will have a very long session at that point!
Over the past three nights, I´ve stayed in the best of albergues (in terms of position, by the sea) and the worst (which was why I was really hoping to be able to load the photographs!). Briefly, have been walking an average of 26 km a day with no difficulties - the magical blend of honey, royal jelly and other secret ingredients given me by the Ukrainians at Oviedo seems to be working well! Additionally, two German pilgrims insisted on giving me a very good walking stick and (this is absolutely true), as I walking along the road wishing that I had one of Mark´s kayaking gloves (fingerless, mesh backed and leather palmed) to avoid chaffing on my left hand as I used the stick, I came across a very good quality brand new glove of that discription - obviously dropped by one of my favourite species, the Spanish cyclist - left hand and in perfect condition!
The albergue I stayed in after Soto (Cadavero) had only 8 beds (the usual bunks) in two very small rooms with mouldy, blistered walls - the result, apparently, of the ceiling falling in two years ago. There were 14 of us staying there that night - two sleeping in the entrance area, and the others outside or on the bedroom floor. It was one of those nights where I started questioning why I was doing the Camino - the others were all young people who seemed more interested in having a few bottles of wine or drinking beer than exploring the Camino. But I realised that this was exactly where the lessons of the Camino were to be found for me - a bit like Guilleme´s statement about the heart of the Church being about what is most human and what is most to do with ordinary life - and it ended up as a really good evening. It just is a reminder that every person has a story and something inside that longs to be connected. I got talking with one of the young Germans who told me that he had just completed his studies and was working as a civil engineer (´you don´t know this firm, but we are all over the world, even in Australia - yes, I´m afraid that pumps and valves are not very sexy, but everyone uses them - and it is this which I work!´) - basically, because of a shortage of skilled workers in Germany, he knows that his future is assured - but wanted to walk the Camino because ´I have questions. I cannot answer these questions in my work´. Unfortunately, on this the second day of walking, he was ´hurting all over´ and didn´t know what to do. I felt so sorry for him, every article of his immaculate brand new kit was so beautifully folded and organised (even the items in his washbag), and he sat forlorn, examining his blisters and massaged his aching muscles.
The next night was at Pinyera - I wish that I had the time to fully describe the walk that day. I took many photographs, so one day, I´ll have to revisit it with you. Because I´m short of time on the internet tonight, I´m going to write something really quickly, without a lot of comment - and just leave it at that. You know that the early weeks of the Camino (I´ve now been walking for a month) were days of grieving - really crying from a place deep inside. Recently, I´ve experienced more often a sense of peace - nothing specific, just a great calm and tranquillity (though not so much when I´ve walked with others). But this day, walking through the fields and by the coast, I had a sense of Mark´s presence with me. I don´t like using those words, because it´s not like a tangible presence or a ghost (very far from that), it was more that there was a lifting of spirit and pure enjoyment, the kind of fun that we used to have together when we were walking or camping. I can´t explain it at all - not like having one of those imaginary friends that a child talks to, not an invisible being - just an awareness that all is well, and there was peace, there was laughter - it was almost like someone saying ´Ah! So now you understand!¨
Shortly after I arrived at the albergue (a really pleasant one, based in a former school at the back of a church), Olivier turned up - the person I´ve talked most often with about Mark - so it was good to talk with him about the experience, and he shared his own experience that day (you remember he is walking now following the death of his father) - where there had been peace, calm and odd phrases coming into his mind such as ´you don´t have to blame yourself for your father´s death...all is well...there is peace´There´s something more and I have to give a bit of background here. Before Mark died, we wrote each other letters and his letter to me ended with the sentence ¨I will always love you and I will never forget you¨. In the weeks after his funeral, there were three occasions when, at a particularly evocative moment, I heard the song ¨Unforgettable¨ which Natalie Cole recorded in 1991 (overlaying a track of her father´s version of the song, so that effectively she was singing with her deceased father) - really quite strange - twice walking in a park and thinking about Mark´s letter, and once as I turned on the car radio when I left Krina McGlaughlin´s house after she had been telling me of a friend of hers who had heard a song significant in her own loss at particular times. Then, when I went into a second hand shop (Mark was constantly teasing me about my love of second hand shops), there was a cd of the song sitting on the counter. Well, when I had talked with Olivier, I picked up a magazine that was lying on the table (you don´t usually find them and this one was considerably out of date) - and opened it at a page where, this is true, there was an advertisement for a new release of the song under the title ¨STILL Unforgettable¨. How´s that for synchronicity???!!!
Today, Olivier and I walked together to Ribadeo - we-ve been crossing paths at albergues, but aaprt from a walk together earlier on, hadn´t spent a lot of time walking together. In addition to the stress of his father´s death and thoughts about where his future lies (whether he continues in the form of journalism he has been engaged in or not), he explained that another complication is that he comes from an aristocratic family and, since his father´s death, there are tensions over property. It was a magical day - a really good path and a conversation that covered everything from faith to politics to the recent deaths to hopes etc etc. In the late afternoon, we met up with Josh, the German philosophy student and I´ve discovered that he is studying Meister Ekhart - how appropriate for the Camino. He told us that he had been very antagonistic towards Christianity but had now, since reading Meister Ekhart (I know, I´ve misspelt that, haven´t I?!) understood more of the heart of what belief in God is about - and had let go of some of his anger with the institution of the Church.
Something I´ve reflected on is that on the Camino, your age and nationality becomes irrelevant - it´s simply a meeting between individuals. So last night, for example, there was Olivier (27), myself (53) and a young dread-locked Austrian couple, Lisa and Christophe, deep in conversation about ecology and personal life choices, with no sense of ´here´s the old lady joining in´or ´these young ones´. Tonight we are all in a lovely albergue in Ribadeo - literally overlooking the harbour (a poor man´s version of a situation by Sydney Harbour Bridge). A group of Spanish cyclists are staying there too - and I have finally discovered what lovely men they can be! Alberto told me how he had cycled an extra 42 kms just to see a particular hermitage and how much he has gained from cycling alone, but is happy to cycle today and tomorrow with Pepe and Frank because they are true companions - he met them the other day at another albergue. We also have two dotty German ladies, Regina and Heidi - a whole chapter in themselves!
Okay, I´m going to have another go at uploading photographs. There´s so much I haven´t written - you are all very much in my thoughts. Over the past few days, I´ve carried stones especially for Mark´s family, for Denyse and the girls, and for the Brothers in Africa.
