Making Sense

It´s eight months today since Mark died- and the day that I had originally intended to arrive in Santiago. I am very much wishing that I could sit down personally with everyone - and I am missing family and friends a great deal, but this has been and continues to be a wonderful journey. I was thinking this morning that if I were to write this as a story, it would be rejected as too unlikely because of the number of synchronicities and unexpected gifts in each day. And then I realised that perhaps every day has always been like this, and I´ve been too blind to see.

In the Pilgrims´Office, I picked up a Spanish leaflet advertising a gathering at the Cathedral on Saturday nights between 9.00 and 10.00 pm  for pilgrims wishing to pray together and share their stories, so I went along with some trepidation (my Spanish is very ordinary to say the least - although I can understand more and more of what is being said). There were about 20 of us, mostly comprising a group of Portuguese young people travelling together - but what a wonderful time. We were welcomed into the Cathedral (closed to the public) by the priest and another man who gave us copies of a service in our own languages. Briefly, we processed together to different parts of the Cathedral, including an inner courtyard where the public don´t go, singing pilgrim hymns and reciting prayers. There was a penitential rite of burning black cards (hence the outdoors section!) and then we gathered right in front of the main altarpiece (where the priests sit) to read the Scriptures and share prayers. The Scriptures chosen were so appropriate for me - the first from the book of Revelation ('He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, there will be no weeping or death, or crying or pain, there will be a new order...´) and the second that central reading from Luke´s Gospel where Jesus takes up his mission - 'He has anointed me to preach good news to the poor...to proclaim the year of the Lord´s favour´. Because that´s really been one of the messages of the Camino for me - to think about how I now take this back into ordinary life, how I personally share the Good News. I don´t where it came from, but I could understand everything the priest said to us - about our own mission that comes from the Camino (and remember that Camino means 'Way') - and then, when we were invited to share our own stories and pray, I told the story of Mark (and showed his picture yet again - it has now been kissed by so many people throughout Spain!!) and my own very gradual discovery of peace and hope in his life and death.  The priest asked for my email address and I think is going to write to me. Afterwards, the Portuguese young people sang their own pilgrim song before the altar. It was a very moving experience. Later in the night, I sat in the beautiful garden of the pension (THANK YOU to the angels who directed me there - I have now heard so many horror stories of pensions in Santiago!) with another glass of wine and a coffee, basically giving thanks for everything that continues - especially round this time of anniversary.

This morning, I stepped outside the pension to check on the weather and right outside were HEIDI AND REGINA - the two crazy German ladies!!!! That´s what I mean by the unlikeliness of the meetings and the synchronicities - it was strange enough meeting Olivier as I did the other day, and then Patrick - but I hadn´t expected to see these women again! And Santiago is a VERY busy place, believe me. I don´t know how much I´ve written about them but these two crazy women deserve a chapter to themselves! They were desperately searching for somewhere to stay - so now they are in the room next to mine!! I know that Chris and Lisa, and Olivier, will be SO delighted to hear this - we often said, before they left, that all we needed was to find Regina and Heidi to complete our Camino!

I´ve now come from the Pilgrim Mass for today - the 21st. What a gift. Firstly, the priest from last night (I´m actually wondering whether it´s the Bishop because he seems to be very senior), came to me and told me how happy he was to see me again this morning, that he had arranged for someone else to celebrate the Mass for the Benedictine monks so that he could celebrate this particular Mass, thinking of what I had said last night about the anniversary of Mark´s death (I´m sure he just was being kind there). He is a priest with a great deal of warmth and humour - and I´ve noticed that same warmth among many of the Cathedral priests, nuns and deacons - there is a genuine sense of welcome. Then the readings today were just so appropriate - after Isaiah, the reading from St Paul´s letter to the Phillipians where he talks about the possibility of his own death ('Christ will be exalted in my body whether by life or by death') and THEN (I couldn´t believe this!) the parable of the workers in the vineyard which has been a particularly significant reflection for me on this Camino, because I´m so good at being so judgmental of others' (and my own) efforts. And one thing I´ve realised about that parable is that the men who didn´t start working in the vineyard until late in the day had actually been waiting around for the invitation all day - like some of my students who might just have needed me to recognise their gifts instead of my thinking that they couldn´t do whatever it was that needed doing. That´s DEFINITELY been a lesson of the Camino for me - to recognise the goodness and giftedness of each person, especially the young. The priest talked about the logic of God which is based on generosity and love - he also referred to the lesson I´ve learnt that we are simply here in Santiago as pilgrims, all equal,  and it´s not about whether we walked hundreds or thousands of kilometres or just a short distance; it´s not about whether we carried a heavy load or managed to find someone to help us; it´s not about whether we walked every kilometre or  travelled by bus or even came by car; nor is it even a question of whether we intentionally came for religious reasons or simply set out to see what was there - the important thing was that we took the journey and discovered the lessons of the Way. And, thinking of the workers in vineyard, I should mention what happened at the Pilgrim Mass yesterday too - remembering my love for Spanish cyclists. During the consecration, a group of cyclists pushed up next to where I was standing and chattered noisily about where they could put their packs etc etc. Then I watched them go to receive Eucharist and it was just so beautiful - these burly muscular men (I´m also thinking about our footy boys at Rostrevor!) receiving the bread - and then one of them touched his forehead to a pillar and prayed for some minutes, another sat and held his pilgrim scallop shell in his hands in prayer, and the others knelt on the flagstones and made the sign of the cross in a way that I imagine their grandmothers had taught them. It was really moving.

Heidi and Regina have just  walked into this internet cafe! Enough for today. Peace on the road - and peace in your hearts. More tomorrow.