EuropeTour: Episode One - The Phantom Breadstick

G'Day Everyone,

Sorry for not writing earlier but ourfirst week in Europe has been crazy. There's lots to write about soI'll try to crack on with it. We got a chance to charge up the laptopbattery last night so I'm taking this opportunity to write this entryon the bus as we head from Antibes in the French Riviera to Pisa inItaly.

Our first city was Paris. We initiallycaught the ferry from Dover to Calais. The weather was looking good.Okay, here's an abbreviated rundown of Paris. Saw Frenchman walkingdown street carrying stick of bread – stereotype reinforced. Set upcamp got driving tour of city, very nice, lots of icons. Walked tothe top of Montmartre, great views, lots of people, full moon, wentinto Sacre Cour Cathedral, very impressive. Stopped at the EiffelTower, it was lit blue – long story will explain later.

Next day we went to the Louvre, heapsof people. There was a crush to see the Mona Lisa, it was like beingat the Big Day Out, but for paintings instead of rock stars. Louvrewas cool but very crowded. Left and went for a walk around Paris,very nice. Saw the Notre Dame Cathedral and heaps of other grandbuildings. Had lunch, walked and then met everyone for a picnic withchampagne beneath the Eiffel Tower. Oh yeah, Paris smells like pissand some hungry Italians tourists were trying to take our food whilewe had our picnic. Also almost got imprisoned by a French space-age,self cleaning toilet. Went for a river cruise up the River Seine withlots of champagne. Enough of Paris.

Caught the bus to Switzerland, campedin Lauterbrunnen. Swiss Alps are bloody awesome, really enjoyedSwitzerland would like to go back one day. Did not smell like pisslike Paris did. Nice beer there too. Went for a hike in themountains, and tried to swim in a stream made of melted glacial ice –cold.

After a couple of days in Lauterbrunnenthe tour bus headed to Avignon, France. It's a very nice, “Ye Olde”city with walls around it. Had a walk around, bought some stuff for apicnic dinner and a few wines of the banks of the River Rhone. Nicenight, got a bit of rain. Some of the tour group got bailed up byguitar playing Dutch backpackers and a creepy homeless French guywith a dog.

After one night in Avignon we left forAntibes on the French Riviera. Lifestyles of the rich and famous,lots of money in theses parts. Drove past Cannes, stopped in Grasseand visited real French perfumery. Set up camp in Antibes, site wasright next to an amusement park and the beach. Went for a swim, rocksinstead of sand, women have their boobs out all the time.

We went to Monte Carlo, Monaco for anevening out, even more decadence there. Drove along the F1 racetrack, checked out a casino. Saw lots of Ferrari's, Lamborghini's andMaserati's (they're cars). A couple of girls on our tour got chargedabout $25 for a vodka and lemonade each. We all went for cocktailsand then went back to Antibes.

Spent the next day wandering aroundNice. Nice is nice, more laid back than Paris. Checked out the sites,had lunch, visited markets, more beach (and boobs) and walking. Wewent back to camp, had dinner and drinks and went to “Antibes Land”which was the neighbouring amusement park. The dodgem boats wereawesome, scared the shit out of little French kids, I had red wineteeth and was making angry pirate noises as I rammed them....goodwholesome fun.

Okay, that's about it for now. Sorryabout the butchered writing style, I'm trying to squeeze everythingin before the battery dies, and I don't want to be long winded. Allis well, our tour chef kicks ass, really nice food. Having a ball.Will be in touch soon. Take it easy, Justin.