Taming elephants

"Knowledge must be hammered and beaten like pure gold, then one can wear it as an ornament."
Tibetan sciptures.

Early morning, at My Beautiful Restaurant, for the usual pot of chai. Denis is there:
"When we will evolve enough, we will be able to walk through walls. If you want a roof, all you'll have to do is think of a roof and you'll have one. We'll work 4 hours a day and that's it!" Denis proudly boasts.
Denis is a 50 year old, french, divorced, one son, been around the world and back, shoulder lenght thin hair, moves like a plastic cartoon character. Sitting the whole day at the restaurant, he mechanically rolls joints after joints, as if not even aware of his own movements. His hands splitting the cigarette open, dropping the tabacco in the classic stoner's coconut cup, mixing the tabacco with droplets of hash, Denis rolls and rambles to whomever will have the patience to
listen. Denis is like a talking machine, all that is needed is to press the "on"button.
Denis will tell you how he will be France's president, and his many plans for his many reforms.
If this doesn't work, Denis will invest and set himself up with an amber carving studio in Guatemala. I mention that realistically speaking, and even if his reform plans all sound wonderful, the second option might seem more workable. Denis will read your mayan calendar type, and give you diagrams to go with it.
Denis speaks a lot of spirituality, he speaks a lot about everything really.
One day of hanging out with Denis is enough to see him get angry or impatient at this and that, as he rambles more about spiritual love and how we need to change the world. One day is enough to hear all of Denis big theories.

"Our vast collection of knowledge and experience are just part of ego's display, part of the grandiose quality of ego. We display them to the world and in doing so, reassure ourselves that we exist, safe and secure, as "spiritual" people."

Another morning, another pot of chai. Denis is still there:
"when we evolve enough we will be able to walk through walls..."
I point to a bike and I ask Denis:
"What is this?"
"A bike" he answers, almost puzzled by the question.
"No, it's a pinapple" I answer seriously.
Denis looks even more confused than he usually does beyond his glasses. I keep on going:
"Maybe one day we will be able to walk through walls, Denis. But for now, we can not, and for now it does not matter whether or not we will be able to walk through walls. The thought of walking through walls does not help me to deal with my day, as saying that this bike is a pinapple does not help me either".
Denis thinks for a minute, or at least seems reflective. He decides to ask me some questions about the computer and programming. He asks about languages, he wanders if he can really walk through walls. I make a few translations of his mayan calendar papers, taking him words by words, making sure he reflects on them and stopping him when he starts with his various divaguations.

We can say anything we want.

That is the emptiness of words. I can say that I am a pinapple, and that I am the president of Bikeland. I can even believe that I am a pinapple president.
This attitude is neither good nor bad, rather it can almost seem poetic and childish.
Yet we have to wander how much this attitude does help in our daily lives? It can seem to be a form of unaware schizophrenia, because really, I am not a pinapple, and I am not the president of bike land. I doubt that the world of today needs more confusion, as it is drowning in misinformation and theories of all types, with no refernce points. I doubt that the world needs more of anything, since it already has everything it could dream of. We are now faced with the question: "what to do with those many dreams?".

"This is because in the begining we must develop a confidence in our understanding, clearing out all preconceptions, nihilism, eternalism, all beliefs have to be cut through , transcended. And when a person is completely naked, completely opened, at that very moment he sees the power of the word".

If we project Denis attitude onto society, we can see this child like confusion in many things.
People like to say they love each other, even if they treat each other wrongely every day, they marry for 4 to 5 years, then divorce and go to another mate, creating broken families, in turn creating broken societies. Meanwhile the government repeats that we have to produce more, and at the same time that we should preserve the environment. We go and wage wars in order to create peace. We have to work more and be relaxed all at the same time. Those attitudes are a reflection of inner confusion.
As Denis, many people have great plans of how to change society and make it a better one, but very few have plans to change their own inner society, ie, their own selves. Whatever we do on the outside is a reflection of what each of us carries inside. A confused individual such as Denis, will project his own inner chaos into society, only creating more confusion, because he is himself so confused.

"There is no hope in understanding anything at all. There is no hope of finding out who did what or what did what or how anything worked. Give up your ambition to put the jigsaw puzzle together.
Give it up altogether, absolutely, throw it up in the air, put it in the fireplace. Unless we give up this hope, this precious hope, there is no way out at all."

We can be angry at Denis, we can dislike him, we can call him by many names. All those reactions are valid ones, and it is good to aknowledge them if one wants to cross those emotions.
Yet we also have to love Denis, because there is a little bit of Denis in each of us. Denis is the untammed mind, he is the kid that wants all the candy and eat it too. Denis is the dreamer who thinks he can walk through walls and then wanders why he has a bump on his head. Denis is the watcher, the confused ego, the untamed elephant, he is the part of us bumping in walls, when really, there was never any walls to begin with.

"When the watcher is gone, there is no evaluation of the experience as being pleasant or painful. When you have panoramic awareness without the evaluation of the watcher then the bliss becomes
irrelevant, by the very fact that there is no one experiencing it. "

As for fuzzy me, after about a month at the retreat center, eating the books of Chogyam Trungpa in the library, meditating, bothering the resident monk with my questions, and hanging out with
Peit the painter, I am in a couple days on my way to Katmandou.

See you there

Lots of love to those reading this, to the Denis in all of you.
A special kiss to my sis who just came back to France after 2 years working in Africa doing what she could to help the ones suffering out there. You rule mon kiki!!!
Un gros bisous a papa et maman et a la famille.

All quotes taken from books from Chogyam Trungpa.

Denis is a real character, as real as such a dreamer can be anyhows

ps: no pics on this entry yet, because they are doing work in the internet shop.
More pics from Katmandou soon.