Moon Light Cafe.

Before anything:
JOYEUX ANNIVERSAIRE MON KIKI ADOREE!!!!! PLEINS DÄMOUR ET DE BISOUS BAVEUX.
AMOUR TOUJOURS AU PLUS BEAUX DES KIKIS!!!!

On forgiveness.

"Time heals everything" a hippie says.
"Time doesn't exist" another one replies.
"If time did not exist, how would that tree appear to have grown from it's seed state? " I ask pointing to the tree standing in the middle of the tea house we're sitting in.
"I don't think that time heals anything. Actually, I don't think that time does anything at all. Itself does not do anything, but everything that gets caught in it, gets changed. Time is just a measure of Space really."
"What is Space then?" ask a clean cut 20 something college student look alike.
"I guess it's Time's twin sister" I say. As the hippies and want to be hippies go on debating about what Time is or is not, about Space and Galactic families, I get up, and leave them to their heated discussion. Not that the discussion is not interesting, but after hearing it a few thousands time, one gets the feeling that the discussion is more about establishing a sort of connection between people, a way to spend time together than about actually wandering what Time-Space might be about.
I am a believer that Time-Space is better experienced when in solitude and silence. Any words being mere shadows to the nature of the Cosmic Twins.

"Time heals everything", the words come again in my mind as I walk back to Mc Leod. "That's just stupid" I think to myself. "Time does not heal anything. Time just transforms things. It's like water passing on the rocks, eons after eons, until there is no more rock. The rock has not disappeared the rock has only changed shape. Time does the same to anything it touches. Emotions are no different than rocks. They get carved out by time. Some of us can even use tools to carve the emotions, but for most of us, time does all the work just by being itself."
As I walk, I can see the mountain peek shining behind the water fall. The moonssoon being on it's last days, the cristally blue sky reveals the surrounding in all it's splendor. The sky is never as clear and blue as after a strong rain. Like tears, the rain purifies, taking aways the dirt and other bits of nothingness.
Like the rain touching everything, nothing can avoid the passage of time. Time does not heal, because it has no mercy for anything. Time does not forgive, it just forgets. It changes shapes and forms so much, that eventually, nothing can recognize the old shapes. Time even forgot itself.
"You have to forgive others in order to heal yourself" I think to myself, recalling something read in some new age book. "So many preach about forgiveness" I think "That's just more cowards bowlshit".

I am taken back to a conversation I had a few years ago with a friend.
"Just forgiving people does not work for me." I was saying. " It'd be like having someone treat me horribly and then say "oh, it's ok. I am not worth a damned anyhows. Of course I forgive you for having been a thoughtless, selfish person." This selfpitying attitude just seems unrealistic to me."
"But people have to come to some sort of peace with themselves, in order to keep going after traumatic events occur in their lives. What else can they do but to forgive?" my friend asked.
"Maybe someone who has been hurt can only try to understand what happened. If one understands that who ever hurt them did this out of ignorance, out of confusion, out of anger, jealousy or whatever motivated the pain created, then, one can accept the mistake of the other as being merely....well human. All humans make mistakes. Some way bigger than others, such as extreme cases of violence, sexual abuse and other such disasters for the psyche. Such people can be seen as sick people who need help and counceling, or even to be locked aways from society for a while for rehabilitation. But, if you just "forgive" them, it's saying that what they did was ok. If a dog craps on the carpet, you have to train it with a newspaper slap as many times as it takes, until the dog stops that behaviour. It's the same with humans. Forgiving is taking your own self pride totally aways. I don't think it works really, not in the long run."
"So, we accept others make mistakes, just like each of us, and then what do we do if we do not "forgive"?"
"I guess, after we see the problem of the person, we try to understand the person. Very often people keep on repeating family patterns, or other patterns seen in society. Then, just choosing to keep some sort of a contact or communication with the person who created the pain is enough of a forgiveness. To accept them around us with their faults is forgiveness. Remember, punishment used to be banishment from one's own village!
If I choose to still speak to someone after a person hurt me, well, that's good enough for me. All we can do is to accept what has been done. Then with time passing by, we can see if the person works at changing it's ways, or if it is still someone not worth our trust. It's like the "don't walk with the fools" of the Buddhists". Eventhough we should remain thankful to our enemies. Without them we would have no way to test our patience and other such positive traits.
Choose who you spend your time with carefully, as it is better to be in solitude than in bad company.
But, I am no Angel, and I don't aspire to be one. Angels seem to have a really boring life. I have the luxury to be able to choose to stop communication with such and such being. Sometimes, there is so much pain, that one needs to stop any contact with the person who created the pain in the first place. Sometimes, that's ok to just say "fuck of".
"um. ok. yeah you're right, that's not very Angel like of you, but that makes sense." thinks my friend.
"Bah, Angels are just fallen Devils. All that up, down, right and left stuff is way overrated. It just depends on one's own position really".


Back on Baghsu Road, India, I go sit with Shiva and Parvati at the Moon Light Cafe. "Best chai in the world" says proudly Unekel, the 12 year old son of the owner.
"best chai in the world" I confirm lifting up my glass "it sure is".
As I sip on the best chai in the world, I watch myself say "fuck of" to a couple of people. I watch them change shape through Time and Space, eons after eons. They now sit with me at the Moon Light Cafe, sipping on milk tea. It was the asshole in me all along. "fuck of" I say to my rambling mind, grinning amusingly to myself.
"You want chai? Come in my shop. best chai in the world!!" shouts Unekel at tourists passing by.
"It sure is" I sing along with the various people from around the world sitting at the Moon Light Cafe.

ps: pics to come laters.