Long time, no internet

April 9, 2013 - El Remate, Guatemala

Yes, dear cousin Sally, I do smoke. About 4 a day. Unless I am ratarsed, in which case the count goes up somewhat. Did you not notice me nipping out of your lovely gaffe and into the garden, that time we stayed with you?


Can anyone beat the record for eating 120g of popcorn in one sitting? Yes, dear reader, that pig was me. However, travelling is hard work. I have lost weight. What little arse I did have has totally disappeared. And the wrinkles, oh the wrinkles. Cruel, cruel sun.


Anyways, we took a massive trek across Central America, covering two borders. Those being Honduras and El Salvador. The first bus cost us $5. Very expensive. We screwed up. But, on the plus side, we then caught another 6 buses for $5 total. You win some, you lose some. Or shold that be sum?


Vince and I have developed an addiction to soda water. Worry ye not, we are still low level alcoholics. But the water is nice too.


Part of our time in El Salvador was spent in a Surfers´Paradise. Not ours, then. We too old. But it was a nice place. With a pool, no less. From which I managed to catch a cold. It is around 37 degrees Celcius and I get a cold. Ridiculo. I will get rid of it this week. And then catch another one on the plane back to England. As is my custom.


The El Salvadorians were my favourite people. So helpful. And I nmean it. Am not being sarcastic.


The last pace we stayed in, in El Salvador, was a bit odd. It was set up as a cafe and hotel. But I think it was a knocking shop. Who has ever heard of a cafe with no food?


We then took the most horrendous bus journey so far. 8 hours with only one wee stop. After 7 hours. 30 miles per hour average. Mind you, the scenery was fantastic when we could see it past the other people who were pretty much sitting on top of us. I had a elbow in my face for around an hour. And it wasn´t mine The people have no idea of personal space. Possibly because they don't get much. We eventually got off the bus and took a quick tuk tuk to Flores. Which is an island. But is on a causeway, thank Dios. Flores was nice. If expensive. And, get this ... hot water! Ta dah!!


I had a savoury lollipop. It ws like a non alcholic bloody Mary. Marvellous. Now all I need someone to do is to invent avocado and olive ice cream.


I realise this blog is totally disjointed. It´s because we have been trvelling a lot over the past few days with no access to internet. I would put in all the boring place names etc. But, quite frankly, I can't be arsed. Tis blog is all about me, me, me and my feelings and impressions. Vince has handed the task over to me. He says he is too busy!!!!! I like blogging. What I don't like is putting photos on. So blame VInce if that doesn´t happen. In fact, blame him anyway. When you have been travelling with someone for nearly 5 months the chance of anyone ganging up on them and having a go is very attractive. I realise I am in trouble if Vince reads this!


Anyway, that´s me for a bit. Inrnet permitting, I shall keep blogging until the bitter end. Which will be in 2 weeks' time. By God, I've missed everyone. I can't wait to get back and knock Stamford dead. Gis' job ...


Have just been bitten twice as I write this. Bastardo mossies.

1 Comment

Sally Whitehead:
April 10, 2013
Oh I have the memory of a goldfish, now you have reminded me I can remember being suprised then. How is the yoga going, you should have practised your moves on the bus, that would have moved a few people. If Vince is too busy now getting a job will be a shock.
Lots of love Sally
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